My new cell phone is an LG F2300. It has a built in digital camera, two colour displays, sends and receives MMS, 40 polyphonic ringtones included and it supports java.

These aren’t selling points by the way, they’re grievances.

There appears to be no way to disable the picture backgrounds of the displays. After an hour or so of looking at some annoyingly colourful fishes, I took a picture of a grey wall and set that as the background.

I freaking hate the thing. It makes idiotic noises whenever I press something, the keyboard layout makes no kind of sense, all the shortcuts are useless and the only ringtone that’s even remotely bearable is a butchering of Vivaldi’s “Spring”.

But it was cheap. 1 krone ($0.153787, €0.12700223, 2461.93₫), and an affordable and reasonable subscription.

A much more welcome recent purchase is the complete first season of “Scrubs”, which of course must be devoured as quickly as possible. Between the new living room floor, Robin Hobb and Scrubs, Uru suffers, which is bad. I should also get started on Oracle Night soon, time is running out oh so quickly, and I really need to write that Red Dwarf adventure.

No progress on the time machine so far.