I think everybody dreams of winning lots of money in the lottery, even those who don’t buy tickets. I’ve certainly often dreamed of winning a million or two, yet I have never once actually played. I probably won’t either. But I’ve been thinking about what I’d do if I actually did win, what I’d do with the money if I suddenly had it all. So I thought I’d try to make a few calculations and see what I’d end up with.

For starters, I need to know how much people win. According to Norsk Tipping, first price in the Viking Lottery last time was 4 518 325 kroner ($666 624.634, €562 267.741, £383 007.546). If I suddenly had that kind of money, I should easily be able to give tithe of it. I should easily be able to give tithe of what I have now, but let’s not get into that bit of guilty conscience right now.

So, I start with 4 518 325, of which I give a tenth, 451 832.5, to various charities, leaving me with 4 066 492 kroner and 50 øre ($599 962.17, €506 040.967, 16 877 950 Russian rubles), still a heapload of money.

Next, I should probably be really boringly sensible. I’m hopefully starting university next year, and that costs money, lots of it. If I could avoid a loan, it would make life easier for me, so let’s look at what debts I will end up in without the prize.

NSELF calculates 80 000 kroner a year, and a proper education would take at least five years, I think, so that’s 400 000 kroner ($59 015.2, €49 776.6532, Â¥6 852 257). Throw in costs for housing and food and stuff, it’ll add up. I think, just to have a really huge margin of error, that I’d set aside a full million for these years, leaving me with 3 066 492 kroner and 50 øre ($452 424.097, €381 599.272, ₨20 109 257). I’ll buy a gum for those 50 øre, just to be rid of them.

Now, it’s time to go nuts. All the stuff I’m currently drooling over, wishing I could afford. Most of them are round and with holes in the middle. And not made of dough.

For starters, I’d need a region free DVD player, so I didn’t have to worry about that. That won’t kill me, a decent one can be found for 500kr. Next, I need all the Pretender DVDs, Stargate SG1 season eight, Stargate Atlantis season one, all the Highlander seasons, and probably a lot more…

So;
DVD player: 500kr.
Four seasons of the Pretender: 1600kr, if they all cost the same.
Two seasons of various Stargate: 1300kr.
Six seasons of Highlander: 2500kr.

Actually, I can’t possibly think of all the films, series and other stuff I’d buy off the cuff like this. I think I’ll say that those 66 492kr would go to a shopping spree, leaving me with a round 3 000 000kroner ($442 614, €373 324.899, å…ƒ3 559 535.49). Wow, this is really an insane amount of money, I just lost all sympathy for striking sport stars. Not that I had much sympathy for them in the first place.

What the hell would I do with the rest?! I doubt my parents would accept any of it, but I could spend some on gifts. Yeah, I’ll take my family on a nice holiday, that sounds good. And I’d buy some stuff for my brother and sister, and my grandparents. To be generous, let’s say that takes 200 000kr, that still leaves me with 3 800 000kr ($560 644.4, €472 878.205, â‚©542 986 480). And I kind of doubt I’d be able to spend up the full 66 492kr, without going completely materialist crazy and buying gold faucets or something. Ok, that might cost more, but you get the point.

I know! I’ll tithe again!

10% of 3 800 000 is 380 000 ($56 064.44, €47 287.8205, 82 824 733.58 dinars), leaving me with 3 420 000kr. man, still loads and loads. I think it’d be best to just put it in the bank and save for when I need to buy a house or something. Yeah that sounds good.

Wow, 3 420 000kr ($504 579.96, €425 590.385, ₪2 378 030.2) I couldn’t even think of what to do with. maybe I should start playing the lottery…